Petey's Piece of the World
Write from your heart, right from your heart.

In the morning

so, yeah.... i woke up (to be expected)... and I kind of regret typing what I did, but at the same time... it needed to be typed... needed to be said. to say that wasn't me... or that I was "just in a mood" would be untruthful.... I mean... I was "in a mood" but, that was me... Peter. Anyway, I feel like I should maybe explain myself a little better.

I've been taking zoloft since november.... it was effective. "from what?" you might ask. Well, basically it helped me not have the moods like the one I wrote in last night. It also kind of made me "out of it". I don't know... I did like it... so I haven't taken the pills in 3 days and then I took 1 and then I didn't for another 3... anyway, I was surprised to see that with in less than a week my stupid mood was triggered (ie. last night's post). When I'm in that mood... I... hurt everyone... but mostly Abby... who is the most important person in my life. It is true... she is the person who taught me how to love and how to be loved... how to accept myself and to love others... and she is the closest to me, so naturally, she gets hurt the most and hardest... and... I don't want to lose her (she is the main reason I started on the pills). but at the same time I feel like if I need these chemicals to live, then am I truly me? hard to say... i bet people could and would argue both ways. Perhaps I was meant to not ever really be close to anyone... or something... scare away all those that I love... I don't really know what is up.... blarg... I hope that explains maybe a little something something...

 

2 Comments:

i love you...i don't' really know what else to say.

So I we don't really get a chance to hang out or talk as much as I'd like... but for what it's worth, I don't mind the occasional late night long phone call. If you ever want to just chat or vent, I'm seriously here to listen. I think you and Abby are awesome together so don't second guess yourself Peter. You have a lot to offer. Good luck with this next semester and may "the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus."

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